Now,my life has never been perfect. Like everyone else, I've had my fair share of shit. Some of it has been worse than average, some of it not worth mentioning but i've always got through it none the less.
Prior to last December, I was pretty much cruising through life.
Apart from the hardship of furthering my career as a writer, all was well. Particularly my relationship. Excluding the normal boyfriend/girlfriend domestic crap I was still so in love with my boyfriend of 5 years. Then I began an affair. Seven months on and its still taking place.
Now, I have to say, my thoughts on adultery have always been mixed. I would never judge someone who was cheating but never thought I would actually have the gaul do it myself. I'm guessing this is a pretty common view.
Anyway, the man in question is high maintenance to say the least. He is known as a serial womaniser, he has a child but not with the girl he is currently living with. He has a disastrous drug habit that most people are aware of and to top it off he recently slept with one of my "friends".
After finding this out I swore I would never go back to him but after confronting him about the situation still ended up in bed with the guy.
I realise he is no good and falling into bed with him after he had bonked someone I knew did'nt make me any better than her or him. In fact I think it took me to an all new level of cheap!
I am also aware I am betraying someone who loves me dearly. Thing is, I'm hooked.
Although I want nothing from my lover and realise he would never give me anything if I did, I am intent on continuing this sordid scene.
He is undoubtably a shit and is, as I have been warned many a time, very bad news.
The sex is unbelievable and we have a very unusual raport. However, he is honestly testing my mental health.
I'm at his beck and call and cannot believe I have managed to lie and decieve for this long. I'm now waiting for shit to royally hit the fan....but until then, I know i'll continue.